Celebration of Life vs. Funeral

Fr. Mark Payne • March 27, 2025

Dear parishioners,

You may remember my February 9th bulletin article where I shared with you a former parishioner’s grief over the absence of a funeral Mass for her friend and why I believe it’s important to celebrate a funeral.

In summary, a funeral Mass is important for the following reasons:

Though separated from the living, the dead are still at one with the community of believers on earth and benefit from their prayers and intercession.
The celebration of the Christian funeral brings hope and consolation to the living.
Funerals celebrate the life of the deceased, highlighting their achievements, personality and the impact they had on others.
During the funeral Mass, we worship, praise, and give thanksgiving to God, for the life of the deceased and the author of all life.

Many funeral homes are now offering “celebrations of life” as an alternative to funerals. Celebrations of life are becoming increasingly popular because they offer a lighter, often more cathartic opportunity to remember and bid farewell to those we’ve lost. Celebrations of life often include:

Stories or memories of the loved one.
Music.
Snacks or refreshments.
A photo memory board, a memorial table or a memorial DVD of images of the loved one.

My research and personal experiences have shown that while "celebration of life" services may offer a more personalized and potentially uplifting approach to mourning, some potential drawbacks include the potential for them to feel like a party rather than a somber remembrance and the possibility of the focus shifting away from the deceased's death. More specifically, potential negatives include:

Shifting focus: Some argue that the "celebration" aspect can overshadow the mourning process, potentially making mourners feel uncomfortable or ashamed of their sadness.
Feeling like a party: The celebratory atmosphere might not be suitable for everyone, and some may find it difficult to reconcile the joy with the loss.
Discomfort with laughter and lightheartedness: While some find comfort in celebrating a life, others may find it difficult to laugh or engage in lightheartedness during a time of grief.
Personalization can be overwhelming: The highly personalized nature of celebrations of life can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially for those who prefer a more traditional and structured approach.
Potential for misinterpretation: The term "celebration of life" can be misinterpreted as a denial of death, which may not be the intention of the family.
Lack of tradition: Some families find comfort in the structure and traditions of a funeral service, and a celebration of life may not provide the same sense of closure or ritual.
Cost: While not inherently more expensive, the personalization and flexibility of a celebration of life can lead to higher costs, depending on the chosen activities and venue.

A celebration of life does not need to replace the traditional types of memorial services but can be an addition. A fitting example is an Irish funeral. A traditional Irish funeral, or wake, involves a community gathering to celebrate the life of the deceased, often including music, sharing stories and food, proceeded or followed by a more somber church service and burial. The modern Irish wake or gathering before or after the funeral is still about celebration and embracing our mortality with a bit of humor and good cheer.

Wakes and funerals are often seen as solemn, formal events, but they don't have to be limited to a single tone or approach. In fact, Rite of a Funeral of the Catholic Church states, “Whenever possible, ministers should involve the family in planning the funeral rites: in the choice of texts and rites provided in the ritual, in the selection of music for the rites and in the designation of liturgical ministers.” The Germans say, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” In other words, avoid discarding something valuable when trying to get rid of something unwanted or undesirable. Memorialize the deceased with the structure, rituals, and traditions of a funeral service, while incorporating an uplifting approach to mourning and celebrating the life of your loved one.

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Parish Connections

Young Adult Mission Trip to Peru

By Taylor Baar • June 5, 2025

What an amazing week we just spent at our sister parish in Peru! 11 young adults from St. Anthony on the Lake traveled to Piura, Peru May 23-30 and were overwhelmed by the warm greetings and generous welcome they received. We served in the community in so many meaningful ways. The young adults delivered food packages to families, visited the orphanage, built three houses, herded sheep and goats, distributed clothing, delivered furniture to newly constructed homes, visited the primary school, trade school, and hospice, and more. We also had the opportunity to drive down to Chiclayo one day, which is where Pope Leo was from. We celebrated Mass in the cathedral and ate at one of his favorite restaurants! Not many people can say they have done that. The service opportunities were wonderful, but it was even more meaningful to build connections with the people we met. Each night during our group reflections, everyone talked about the joy they witnessed in those they were serving, the community they felt, and the relationships they were building in the community. It was a wonderful experience and we are looking forward to taking more groups of young adults in the future! If you would like to participate in the next trip or know a young adult who might be interested, please have them email baart@stanthony.cc This experience reminded us that we are all part of one Church, one family in Christ. As we return home, we carry not only memories but a renewed mission: to continue building bridges of encounter, both with our Peruvian family and within our own community. Here are a few thoughts from some of the young adults who participated in this mission trip: “It was an amazing experience to be able to help in the various ways we did. From building homes, to donating food and clothes, to playing soccer with the kids. I’m extremely grateful for having had the opportunity to help the Peru community.” “The pictures and stories we hear at St. Anthony’s don’t do this experience justice, and being here in person is much more eye opening. The people were incredibly kind, and I’ve made memories I’ll remember forever.” “My trip to Peru was an unforgettable experience that taught me a lot about gratitude, giving, and patience. My favorite moment was on the first day delivering food to families where I got to see the living conditions of the people we were there to serve. It truly opened my eyes to the impact of my role in this mission trip.” “I will absolutely be returning to Piura to continue my service and reconnect with the wonderful people I met here, and I would recommend this trip to all people, especially the younger generations who are looking to start getting involved with the parish community” Evan R: I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to participate in this mission trip. It was an incredible eye-opening experience that I would especially recommend for anyone in our own community. The Peruvian people were incredibly thankful for all of our service and the donations from our St. Anthony on the Lake community! Peter G: This mission trip was an opportunity that I’m very glad to say I didn’t pass up on. It was an amazing experience to be able to help in the various ways we did. From building homes, to donating food and clothes, to playing soccer with the kids. I’m extremely grateful for having had the opportunity to help the Peru community. Graham H: Traveling to Peru was truly an eye-opening experience that cannot be put into words. The hospitality, people, and experiences have created countless memories, and I will cherish my time in Piura forever. Colin R: I’m blessed to be able to go on this trip, and it’s truly something difficult to put into words. The pictures and stories we hear at St. Anthony’s don’t do this experience justice, and being here in person is much more eye opening. The people were incredibly kind, and I’ve made memories I’ll remember forever. Marc S: After spending this past week in Peru, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend the trip again. From the food, to meeting the incredibly kind people, to experiencing the culture, and to most importantly the service we accomplished, time and time again we were blessed enough to have seen the life that this place is so full of. It was an amazing experience and one we’ll all cherish for the rest of our lives! Clara G: Being on this mission trip was such an eye-opening experience. The community of people here is so amazing, and everyone is so loving and kind. One of my favorite aspects of the trip was meeting and hanging out with the children. I would 100% recommend this trip to other people as it was truly amazing to interact with our sister parish that we hear so much about! Macy O: My trip to Peru was an unforgettable experience that taught me a lot about gratitude, giving, and patience. My favorite moment was on the first day delivering food to families where I got to see the living conditions of the people we were there to serve. It truly opened my eyes to the impact of my role in this mission trip. I would without a doubt recommend this trip to not only adults but high school students and young adults as well as it is an incredibly important opportunity to serve others as God created us to do so. Grace P: Spending the last week on this trip to Peru was an extremely eye-opening experience. From finally meeting the amazing family I sponsor through the Church, to dancing with children at the women’s home, to delivering food to different homes in the Piura community, I was blessed with an amazing opportunity. This experience taught me gratitude, opening my eyes to the importance of appreciation and igniting a whole new realm of the meaning of happiness. I will absolutely be returning to Piura to continue my service and reconnect with the wonderful people I met here, and I would recommend this trip to all people, especially the younger generations who are looking to start getting involved with the parish community. The people of Piura have so much love, compassion, and joy to share with us, and I am beyond grateful that I was granted this opportunity. Henry O: Fr. Joe mentioned how Fr. Tony and himself talked about the importance of showing us, the youth, what they have done for the community here since we are the ones who will decide how involved we continue to be, as a parish, in the future. It is something you have to see and experience for yourself to understand the impact we have on each individual and their community here in Piura. William F: Seeing how close the parish community was involved with the families and how they were involved with Christ in their life was a heart touching experience. I am so grateful to all the staff at Santisimo Sacramento and all the families that sponsor families here in Peru as you make a huge impact on their lives. The partnership with St. Anthony has built nursing homes and trade schools here in Piura and the service that my group did would not have been possible without St Anthony on the Lake and Father Tom and Padre Joe, who started this program over 25 years ago. This Is something I would recommend to all seeking to pursue God’s will because seeing the joy and empathy of our Peruvian families was uplifting and inspiring.